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Dad: Why won't you wear a jacket? It's freezing outside! Son: I'm embracing my inner human popsicle. I'm auditioning for the "Frozen" sequel.

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Mother: Please turn down that music! Son: But Mom, it's research. I'm studying the effects of musical vibrations on furniture integrity.

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Mom: It's time to clean your room. What's with the toys scattered everywhere? Kid: It's called "interior design chaos." Very avant-garde.

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A couple in the party

Wife: Did you catch the host's attempt at magic? It was like watching a rabbit trying to pull a magician out of a hat. Husband: Let's just hope our kid doesn't decide to demonstrate their newfound "magic" tricks on the babysitter's hair.

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How does Spider-Man pay his bills?

With his web-credit card, of course!

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